Breathing
by Gabbyfan923
Summary: What was Abby *really* thinking/going through during Hiatus?
1. Chapter 1

**I know I've been out of it for awhile now. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and requests for me to continue to write...it means so much! When you start writing you think you will feel creative throughout the entire story, and yet...I am having awful writers block with my other three Gabby stories (Rewrite of Coverstory, Undercover and Job Offer) Please bare with me. In the meantime, I wrote this about a month ago and maybe it'll help tie everyone over :) Thank you so much!!**

**I own nothing...I wish I did, I would write things slightly different ;)**

Breathing: an involuntary human necessity. It makes your blood pump through your veins, returning to the heart and then repeats the process.

Blood: consistency made up of white and red blood cells; warm in humans and other mammals. Cold in amphibians.

Heart: the one organ a human needs in order to truly be alive.

Yet what happens when all of these things stop working at one time? Not an actual death, just a heart-stopping, blood-chilling, no-breathe reaction/event…what then? A select few of humans never experience this; some are lucky enough that it doesn't occur until they are old and grey. However, there are many who are cursed with feelings this—either at a young age and/or multiple moments in their life time.

Of this last group, I guess one could say that some deserve it or ask for it; that they should even expect it. But I don't really believe that. Why? Because I happen to be a member of this group; a lifetime subscriber, in fact. To be fair, I cannot say that I could or should be president…or even treasurer; but I definitely belong.

No, I didn't ask to be brought up by deaf parents. Nor did I ask for the trauma that happened to me when I was 16. Hell, I didn't even ask for the broken hearts I have experienced nor tears I have cried. And I certainly did not ask to fall in love with my emotionally-guarded boss.

Not long after our meeting, we developed a deep understanding of each other…a very close friendship. One night, over a bottle (or two) of bourbon, we even confessed our MOAS—mother of all secrets. He told me of his first wife and only child; how they died in a horrific car accident when he was overseas. While he was fighting for this country, the people in it betrayed him and killed his family. And I told him…I told him about the rape when I was 16 that caused my transformation into the Goth lifestyle.

We never spoke about what we confessed that night; I guess we both realized it was too painful for either of us to discuss. Yet he became more protective of me after that night; while I became skeptical of the women he dated. What no one else ever found out was the real reason behind his "fascination" with red heads. He told me that since Shannon had red hair, he knew he would never love anyone with that same hair color again; therefore he kept his heart safe by dating women with this trait.

He made me call him before and right after each date I went on. Funny how I never found it intrusive; he even made me do it when I briefly saw McGee. He was always worried about me getting home safely. But we did have rules: if I slept over with any of the dates, I had to call him before midnight to let him know I was still sober and feeling safe. If not, well, he could always find me. McGee was the only man I dated to ever catch on; and he's the third person I've ever told about my past.

Most people probably saw our age difference and expected that I saw Gibbs as a father figure. That role was already occupied…by Ducky. Ducky and I immediately clicked as well. He would share stories long into the night—mostly when Gibbs was out on a call or assignment. We never ceased to amaze each other- and we still don't. Ducky is the one person who knows about my feelings for Gibbs (though I never officially told him). I know he knows about my past; and I never once blamed Gibbs for confiding in him. It's a heavy burden for anyone to bear, and I know Gibbs; he takes everything too much to heart and tends to blame himself. So I understand his_ need_ (not want or desire) to tell Ducky. Though thankfully, Ducky has yet to ever mention it to me…at least out loud.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony had been a surprise to the agency. I still see the shocked look upon Gibbs' face when the (past) Director told him about his new team member. _"He's younger, but he's good. Worked with Baltimore PD for a few years before anyone on the hill noticed him. He's sharp, Jethro, although he may not come across that way." _ Anthony DiNozzo, at first glance, is the epitome of the male species; even has the smile and charm to prove it. But underneath, is a warm-hearted, caring, intelligent, and yes, even lost boy. I thought for sure that we wouldn't get along; I even avoided him for weeks after he arrived. But, in true DiNozzo style, he eventually wore me down and won me over completely. Now, he is closer to me than my biological brother.

Caitlin Todd…I miss her. I learned early on that women, although at times similar, can be the best of friends or the worst of enemies. After her death, I imagined her often. At first I recounted the day we met, both of us wary of the other. She too had found that since she was successful, it was hard making women friends. But luck have it, we beat the odds. Her quiet demeanor was polar opposite of mine, but we learned so much from each other. I remember the call Gibbs made, telling me that Ari had killed her.

"_Abby, sit down."_

"_Gibbs--"_

"_I'm sorry that I can't do this in person, but there's no time."_

"_You're sorry? What--"_

"_Please listen to me, Abs. Kate…(I could almost hear the tears threatening to escape his eyes) Kate is dead."_

"_Gibbs, I--"_

"_I will be there soon. Please, I am begging you, be safe."_

"_I promise."_

We hung up and I fell to the ground. I knew he would come and 'save' me from this nightmare. But he couldn't; no one could. In the end, we survived though it changed us all.

Timothy McGee is a wonderful man and agent. I was attracted to him because we spoke the same language…of computers. I didn't have to worry about looking like a 'freak' around him, since he always felt like a geek. We dated for a few months before realizing we loved each other—but not in the 'forever' type of way. If I were a different person, I honestly believe he would have been the one for me. But I don't have the luxury or will to pretend I'm someone else. Timmy is my best friend, someone I feel completely safe and able to be myself around. When I told him about my past, it wasn't over a bottle of anything; no we were completely sober. We had just finished our take-out weekly dinner and I found myself blurting it out. Unlike Gibbs, he wanted to talk about it; even questioned me to the point that I had to walk away. My past is my past, and I have overcome the point of talking about it. Though McGee is still the one I run to when I want to be held as I cry (before I make my way to Gibbs). He is still the only one I can speak 'geek' to and know he understands. And I'm still the one he confesses all of his insecurities and fears to. We're kinda like Switzerland for each other…the neutral party between the fighting parties. He told me once that he didn't blame me; when I asked what he was referring to, he answered simply "Gibbs". Every day I am thankful for Tim.

Director Jennifer Shepard…she was also a surprise. None of us knew that the position of Director of NCIS would be exchanging hands; although I knew before Gibbs. Rare, I know, but the previous Director had introduced Jenny and I before retreating into MTAC. Mainly because, as he pointed out, I was "indispensible" and needed to make sure we got along. Once he pointed out that Jenny used to work here, I was able to place her name and connection to Gibbs. Director Morrow left to answer a call as Jenny shook my hand. I'll never forget the look she gave me as she smiled and said, "he's the easiest and hardest man to love." We shared a secret smile of knowing as the Director dragged her off. A month later, she asked me to lunch. She reassured me that though she cared for and in some way loved Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, she no intention or desire to head back down that road. At first, I tried to play if off, but she just _knew_ how I felt.

Lastly, Ziva David…well, I hated her at first sight. She was my opposite only in the other direction from Kate. Ziva acted as if she had no fear, no feelings, no cares. Sometimes, I truly envied her because I had those things in bulk. She tried, and I tried to be friends, and we are…in most ways. She'll never be Kate, just as I will never be Talia- her deceased sister. But we have an understanding, which is more than most people get. Above all else, I have to say that I am thankful for her. Why? Because of Tony. Oh, they'll never admit it, but they are in love. She is his match in almost every way. I just hope they will let their guards down long enough to enjoy it.

But I'm off topic—as usual. What was I saying? Oh yeah, the most recent day my world stopped…


	3. Chapter 3

_Well, at least I didn't lie when I said I had errands to run…_

Now I had yet another to do before I got to work. I had to buy a pregnancy test. However, I soon remembered what I actually did for a living—duh!—and continued on to work. Immediately running down to the morgue, I found Ducky and begged him to draw a blood sample from me.

"And may I ask as to why you need this done, Abigail?"

"Ducky, I just…please, just do it."

I had been shaking too badly to do it myself; Ducky finished, placing a band aid on my arm and smiled.

"How many weeks?"

"What?!"

"How many weeks do you believe you are along?"

"Along? In what?"

"Oh, come now, my dear. We are scientists. You cannot tell me you haven't suspected."

"I--NO! I hadn't. I meant not until I was reminded about the date today. Ducky, what would I do?"

"You will inform Jethro."

I never asked how he knew, I honestly didn't care at that point in time. I had just started the test when Gibbs called.

"We…almost…Norfolk."

"What? Gibbs, you're cutting out."

"About…board…ship…'ove you."

"Gibbs?!"

It was useless, the connection was dropped just as the timer went off, letting me know the results were in. I already knew what it would say, yet I was scared all the same. I…I mean we…had no intension of having a child, but yet…as I glanced down at the small plus sign, I knew…my life would never be the same again. And suddenly, I was ok with that.

Bouncing, I ran down to tell Ducky. He's the only other person I'd want to know so soon (besides Gibbs, but I couldn't tell him right now). He was alone, who knows where Palmer was, fussing over some paperwork as I reached him. Enveloping him in a tight hug, he just smiled and patted my arm. He approved! It was nearing 5 o'clock, I hadn't heard from Gibbs, so I decided to go ahead and go out…and then Tony called.


	4. Chapter 4

Soon, I sat in a cab, almost at Ports Smith, wringing my hands. He had to be ok! I had to tell him he was going to be a father. Everything would be fine! I kept reminding myself to think positive thoughts, as I paid the driver and rushed into the emergency room entrance. All I could think was _'He has to be ok'_, I even think I told the nurse McGee had called me…well it had been his phone. Tony had been the one who actually got out the words, though.

I remember yelling at the nice doctor, telling him something about what was positive or not. Soon afterwards, I believe Jenny had asked Ducky drive me back to the base. Instead, I told him to drive me to Gibbs' house. I fell asleep almost immediately, wrapped up in one of his old shirts and sleeping on his side of the bed. The last words I uttered would be my prayer for when I woke…

"It was just a dream…"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Morning

Stretching, I realized I was alone in the bed. Briefly, I thought Gibbs must have snuck off to work on his boat again, leaving me to wake up alone. I started down to the basement, but I only got as far as the bathroom. After getting sick, memories flooded me…the plus sign, the broken call, his assignment, and 'Oh god!' the phone call telling me he was in an explosion. All of my thoughts were (rudely) interrupted by Ducky, who had come to drive me to work. I had forgotten my car was along the highway somewhere with a flat tire.

I tried to work, I tried concentrating on the samples Tony, Ziva and McGee brought back; yet every time I saw blood, my skin felt too tight. I swear I ran to the bathroom at least twenty times that morning alone. I desperately tried to hold myself together, fearing what the other would think or say. McGee, who I find it can be nearly impossible to lie to, came to go over some of the photos…I had just confessed that I was worried when, thankfully we were interrupted when Ziva walked in.

"I should be a professional photographer."

"The Director hasn't called."

"About?"

"About?! Gibbs.

"Oh."

"She didn't call you, did she?"

"No."

"Cause the way you're acting, you might have just… I don't know, forgotten to tell us."

How dare she act as though she doesn't care! I care, damnit! This is killing me and yet she is standing there and…

"What if those were Gibbs guts smooshed all over that room?"

"Oh for gods sake, Abby. They're not."

Now, I was furious. How dare she act as if it meant nothing to her. That the thought of my lover's remains…how cold hearted was she?

"I said WHAT IF THEY WERE!"

"The color would be more of coffee-brown than red."

That's when I lost it. I slapped her. My blood was boiling, I felt as if I was going to be sick once again. To my surprise, she slapped me back! After another round, we just stood there, starring at each other, daring the other one to make a move. The sickness won; I ran out of the room, tears in my eyes, straight for the bathroom.

Hours…or maybe days (I can't keep track of time) later, Director Shepard called us all to the bullpen.

"I have good news. Gibbs is awake."

I was so relieved, I couldn't stop the sound of glee as I hugged McGee. All was right in the world again!

"However…"

'_Oh god!'_

"He has some memory loss."

"_Oh, that's all? Thank goodness!"_

"Retrograde amnesia is perfectly normal after a traumatic event."

"Well, Gibbs' blank is the past 15 years."

Once again my blood ran cold. "Wait, if he didn't know Ducky…"

"Can I go visit him?"

"Not just yet."

Rationally, I knew none of them were aware of our relationship…let alone the child I was carrying. Feeling weak, I excused myself to the restroom. Then…blurriness. Even though I felt cold all over, I was sweating. My hands were shaking, my skin was clammy, and I felt weak. _'WWGD'_—Tony had told me that he once said this, it always made me smile; thinking of it now gave me strength to carry on. Gibbs would want me to catch this son of a bitch that did this; so I would.

McGee and I figured out that if Gibbs had been standing during the time of the explosion, he would have been killed. Ziva, pointed out that something was off. _'Hmm, back to square one.'_ Until we got more evidence, there wasn't a lot I could help with; therefore, I retreated back down to my lab. Stepping into my second home, I realized something.

If Gibbs thought that it was 1991, that meant…he was reliving the worst time in his life. That was the year Shannon and Kelly were killed. My legs carried me over to my chair, and I cried. I cried because I knew he must be going through hell right now; I cried at the thought of losing the child that I had just learned about; I cried because I knew I couldn't tell him now, not like this…So, I'll wait.


	5. Chapter 5

I decided I didn't want to be alone, so I was going to see Ducky. When I arrived at the bottom of the stairway, I heard Director Shepard talking.

"It was horrible, Ducky. He was so distraught. He…he was crying, saying he missed them so much! It broke my heart watching as he fell victim to the morphine. At first, I had been relieved, he remembered us, well how were in Paris. But nothing else. I just can't imagine what he must be going through. To lose not only a wife, but also his only child! My god, how did he survive it?"

It hurt so much…to hear how much anguish he was in. I fell against the wall, horrified. Part of me felt selfish; worried about how and when I could tell him I was pregnant. The other grieved for him. Neither Ducky nor the Director noticed me, as I slipped back up the stairwell. Only Ducky knew, so my secret was safe…for now.

I fell asleep the moment my head hit his pillow; I've getting tired more and more lately. I don't remember what time it was when I laid my head down; nor do I remember the time it was when McGee called. Later, I would recall the happiness and job I felt when he told me that Gibbs had his memory back.

"He's totally back, he will remember you."

I ran, harder and faster than I had ever before. I was determined to see him as he got off the elevator. By the time I saw him, he was making his way up to MTAC _'work first, Abs'_, he always told me. I understood.

"Gibbs!"

"Hey Abby! Good to remember you, Abs."

For us, that was as good as saying 'I love you' in front of the others. That's why I didn't…no couldn't believe it when McGee came down from MTAC, looking as though he had lost his best friend. I waited for him to reach me, suddenly feeling horribly afraid. He just looked at me and shook his head. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I didn't allow them to fall. I sat at his desk, waiting, hoping that this feeling I had would all be a nightmare. And then, I saw him.


	6. Chapter 6

From the look on his face as he exited Director Shepard's office (with her trailing behind), I knew. I knew I had lost him. Never before had I doubted his love for me. Yet, I watched my dream world crash down around me as he placed his badge and gun into Tony's hands. I saw his lips move, obviously saying something to McGee, who once again nodded in agreement. The tears that had long since formed in my eyes were now spilling out. Every neuron inside of me was firing; telling my brain to yell out 'What about me? What about the child we made?!" But I couldn't…I didn't. I just stood there as he silenced me. I felt his lips touch my cheek, our ritual…then he was once again gone.

Time stopped. My heart stopped beating; my blood stopped pumping; my breath caught inside of me. _"This can't be happening!"_ That was the last conscious thought I had before the darkness took me.

Some hours later, I woke up on a cold metal surface…autopsy…Ducky. I struggled to sit up, but hands held me down.

"Abby, not so fast."

"Wha—"

"You passed out. Ducky will be back in a moment. Don't sit up yet, ok?"

"McGee? What happened?"

"Gibbs…he--"

I heard the sorrow in his voice before I saw the few tears he let drop onto his cheek. Once again everything came back in a rush. I tried to turn over before I got sick, but McGee didn't know…I ended up puking all over his shoes.

"Ah, she's up. Timothy, why don't you clean up while I speak with Abigail."

"Uh, sure, Ducky."

"Abby, I--"

"Don't…just don't. I remember. He's gone?"

"Just… yes. He didn't say anything to me on the way home, not even when I dropped him off."

"I want to understand, Ducky. I want…I know how hard this must be for him, and yet, he left me!"

"Abigail, did you know about his first wife and daughter?"

"Uh huh."

"Why did he never…I guess it doesn't matter now."

"It was the night we…he told me the same night I told him about my past."

"Oh, dear. Abby, I am so terribly sorry."

"No, you shouldn't…is my baby alright? I don't remember falling."

"McGee caught you before you hit the ground, from what Tony told me. They called me back here as soon as I dropped Jethro off. They are all quite worried about you."

"I know, I just can't…not now, Ducky. Not like this. Not with Gibbs gone."

"You'll have to tell them soon, my dear."

"I know. I have a doctor's appointment…oh god, it's tomorrow! How do I go alone? Ducky, I have to go alone!"

"Shh, no worries, my dear one. I shall accompany you; that is if you will allow me to."

"I can't go home, Ducky. Most of my things are at his place, I've been sleeping there since…What am I going to do?"

That's when I lost it. McGee walked in as I broke down, they both held me as I trembled and screamed. Poor McGee, he didn't know why I was taking it so hard…if he only knew. I felt as if my body was overheating, my cries became sobs, which wracked my body so deeply I thought I'd never recover. I must have appeared hysterical to everyone. My cries brought Ziva and Tony in, guns held high, thinking I was in danger. No, I thought, the damage has already been done. Now I have to live through it…without Gibbs.


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning, Ms. Scuito. I'm Doctor Hannigan. This must be…"

"Oh, this is Ducky. He's my friend."

"The father?"

"Oh dear heavens, no. I'm merely here in support."

"Oh, alright. Then the father is--"

"Not here." I answered shortly, hoping my face didn't betray the loss I felt.

"Ok. Let's get started then. You took a pregnancy test?"

"Um, no, Ducky drew a sample for me of my blood and I ran a blood test. I know I'm pregnant. I just don't know how far along. We don't have an ultrasound machine at the Navy yard."

"You're in the Navy?"

"No! I just work as a forensic scientist for NCIS. Ducky is the ME."

"Another doctor, well I will have to remember that. I seem to get nervous around other doctors, ha ha."

I watched as Ducky blushed, obviously taken with my doctor. I shifted positions, trying to regain their focus. I needed this over with as soon as possible. My heart was still…well it hurt. Seeing them both blush at their forgetfulness, I smiled. It was so cute when Ducky got a crush. Reminded me of what I am sure I looked like when G-- _'don't go there!'_

"Sorry, this will be cold. Ok…here is your uterus. And here…oh!"

"What?"

"Doctor?"

"Well, do you see this?"

"Oh, my dear…Abigail—"

"What?! Come on, just tell me!"

"First of all, I'd say at first glance you're about 12 weeks along."

"Ok…so what's with the 'oh my's'?

"Well, here is your baby…"

"Yeah, and?"

"There is the other…Abby, it appears you are having twins."

"TWINS?!"


	8. Chapter 8

I never broke down in front of the others after that night. Nor have I told them my secret…s…four days after I was sure he left, I drove over to his house. He had locked it; yet another sign he wasn't coming back. I didn't know what exactly I went there to find; though I did know I needed my things. The worst part was finding that he had already boxed up my belongings; like one would do for a garage sale.

Rubbing my stomach, I took a deep breath; I had to do this. Now, it wasn't just for me. I walked from room to room, hearing the long-past whispers of memories. I saw ghostly images of us laughing, smiling, eating breakfast, making love. Distantly, I heard the radio turn on; the alarm was set for this time so that I could interrupt him and it would just be us for an hour. No matter what, we made time for each other. The song floated in and out of my conscious thoughts, reminding me of our love as I traveled through the dark house.

_you don't remember me but i remember you  
i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
but who can decide what they dream?  
and dream i do..._

i believe in you  
i'll give up everything just to find you  
i have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me  


Finally, I came to the bed-our bed; I had convinced him to buy a new mattress about three months ago. We had even picked it out together. At the time, it had seemed like such a domestic, ordinary thing to do; and I loved it.

_have you forgotten all i know  
and all we had?  
you saw me mourning my love for you  
and touched my hand  
i knew you loved me then_

i believe in you  
i'll give up everything just to find you  
i have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me  


Before I could stop myself, I laid down on the bare bed; trying desperately to breathe in any remains of his scent.

_if i look deep enough  
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over_

i believe in you  
i'll give up everything just to find you  
i have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me  


I knew I couldn't afford to lose control in front of anyone else; but here and now…I could. This was the one place I had always felt safe.

_i believe in you  
i'll give up everything just to find you  
i have to be with you to live to breathe  
you're taking over me  
_

And so, in the dark and hollow room; lying on the bed we had shared… I cried.


	9. Chapter 9

"Damnit, it's been four months and you still haven't learned the meaning of Siesta, Probie?"

I laughed, Mike always did have a way of bringing me out of my dark haze. For the past few months, all I could think about was her. I missed her touch, her smile, her scent, her laugh, hell, everything about her. The nights I drank too much, I talked…and when I talked, it was always about her. I could lie and say she was the only thing I missed about back home; but I couldn't…I begrudgedly missed Ducky, McGee, Ziva, DiNozzo, and even Jen. But my dreams were merely for her.

Mike's lover; however, came strolling up as I once again became lost in my own thoughts.

"Hello gentlemen…You have a phone call."

"Who is it?"

"A woman. She seemed very upset."

Grabbing the phone, I couldn't stop the sound that came out of me.

"Abby?!"

"No, it's Ziva."

"Ziva? What can I do for you? How did you get this number?"

"If It helps, I forced it out of Abby."

"No, it doesn't. What's wrong?"

And then, she gave me the excuse I needed to return home. Within hours, I was boarding a plane and on my way back. All the while trying to convince myself it was just temporary and it was just to repay an old friend.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The moment Abby learned he was coming back to help Ziva, she ran. It was stupid, she knew. It was even cowardly, but she couldn't risk it. Tony had discovered her secret two months ago…then McGee. She later found out that Ziva and the Director had both known since Gibbs left—women's intuition they had said. None of them knew exactly _who_ the father was, but they had all sworn to keep her secret. She was showing; how could she not be with twins and almost 24 weeks along. The entire pregnancy had been a double-edged sword. While she had been thrilled with the chance to be a mother, she wasn't sure how she would do it alone. And at night, she ached…literally ached for Gibbs. Never before had she allowed herself to feel so desperate and sad. Yet, while at work, she was happy and bubbly Abby.

She swore she felt it when his plane landed. She had made sure every trace of her had disappeared from his home. She even replaced the mattress, having had a weak moment one evening and begged McGee and Tony to move it to her place. They had looked at her like she was crazy, but she just smiled and went about her business, not wanting to answer any questions. Yes, she was angry but overall, her heart hurt.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He landed; he was once again back in D.C. Taking a cab to his place, he first noticed that the lights were on. Quickly figuring out Ziva must be hiding out in there, he stopped off to drop his bags in his bedroom. The moment he opened the door, he knew it had changed. His eyes went directly to the mattress, god, he missed his old mattress—the one he had picked out with Abby. Lately he had been sleeping on an old worn out one of Mike's. Just wasn't the same. He sat down, expecting to relive memories, but was shocked to notice it wasn't what he remembered.

His eyes darted around the room; quickly noticing there wasn't even a whisper of Abby left. He knew it would be foolish to think she would wait for him; yet, he never stopped hoping. But upon seeing 'their' room…he knew she had moved on. That is why he didn't have the nerve to see her one-on-one; face-to-face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for all of your reviews. I appreciate them so much. If you have time, please read my other stories and give me ideas. I've got bad writers block on my other 3 stories--which I'd love to complete. Again, thank you!**

'_Thank god for McGee!'_ Abby thought, since he called her every twenty minutes; having promised to keep her updated on the whereabouts of Ziva and Gibbs. She had lately resorted to sugary foods. Anything and everything she could get her hands on. Doctor Hannigan—who incidentally had become Ducky's girlfriend—didn't like it necessarily approve, but tried to understand. Besides, Abby tried to balance it with health foods at night. Over the past few months, she had ordered 5 different lab coats. Her original one had torn soon after learning she was having twins. The second about a month later, and so on. She was on her fourth (size Large); having ordered an XXL one for when she was nine months pregnant.

She had been too busy blasting her music and chomping on her latest snack to hear her phone ring. It had been McGee trying to warn her that Gibbs was on his way up…along with him and Tony. She was lost in between the aforementioned activities and reading a parenting magazine to hear them walk in.

"Abs!"

"Ahh! Geez, McGee! You shouldn't scare a preg--Gibbs??"

And then, her world went black.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Gibbs felt butterflies—although he would never be caught calling them that—all over as he, Tony, and McGee rode the elevator down to Abby's lab. McGee was grumbling something about a warning, but Tony kept glaring at him trying to shut him up. _'Yep, sure missed this'_ Gibbs thought sarcastically. The doors opened, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with memories. Her music was blasting so loudly it reminded him of the night they…_'snap out of it!'_

McGee scrambled to reach her first, Tony just shrugged his shoulders, unable to explain. Though Gibbs soon discovered why McGee was so anxious to see Abby first…he tried to smile, again overwhelmed with memories, as she turned; yet the moment she did…his coffee dropped to the floor.

"Gibbs??"

Everything was in slow motion as he watched her face turn from scared, to happy, to hurt, to fear. Then, she went pale…Briefly he heard Tony yell to McGee to catch her; apparently she had done this before…Tony called Ducky up as Gibbs rushed to her side.

"Abby? Wha--"

"Dear god, Jethro…what have you done?"

"Me?! She just fainted. What's wrong with her? McGee, did you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Well, she obviously pregnant, you idiot."

"It wasn't me!"

"ENOUGH! Abby is lying here and you two are acting as if you have completely lost your minds. Tony, please help me carry her to her cot. You…and you…out!"

"Duck, I--"

"No! You've done enough, Special Agent Gibbs. Leave."

Gibbs watched as Tony and Ducky carried Abby over to her cot. Obviously she slept there too often, since she had it made up and nearby. He watched in horror as she woke up, tears in eyes, sobbing into Ducky's coat. He swore he heard her say his name as Tony stormed over, shutting the glass partition; which silenced the room.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Why…now…oh…god…Ducky…Gibbs!"

"I know, my dear. Tony, close the glass door."

"Why—"

"Just do it, damnit."

Tony walked over, dare not meeting Gibbs' eyes as the glass shut. He turned back, watching as the woman he loved as a sister cried; obviously over his boss. Everything clicked into place then. He saw Ducky nod, letting him know silently he had guessed right; Gibbs had fathered her children then abandoned her. Without pause, or thinking, he reopened the partition, stormed over and slammed his fist into his boss' face.


End file.
